On going to sleep and waking up

This has been one of the problems I havent been able to overcome yet. While I still have my good and bad days I always tend to feel like crap when I am supposed to go to sleep but even more so when I wake up every morning. I just feel really bad. This past week I have been waking up before my alarm clock every day (which is set for 06:00 AM) and today (Saturday) I woke up before 08:00 AM even though I went to bed after midnight after a visit in the studio where we record our new album.

I always feel so lonely in the mornings now so I usually sit down and write something. Right now the people of talkbass have been of great help in this. I can write whenever I want and I now have some PM-contacts that does their best to help me out.

Good thing about today is that I am fully booked. Im doing my laundry for 3 or 4 hours starting at 12 and I need to buy some food and buy some beer. Then its dinner att my mums and then a movie night or similar with a few of my friends. Hopefully the beer will make me sleep for a little bit longer on Sunday so I dont wake up early again.

Oh and also it is now one week since I made that phone call to my ex. A call that was supposed to not be about this situation at all but was thought to be me saying "Im sorry" and then go on and see if we could at least stay friends. Now things did turn into an argument instead of things we cant do anything about now (all the misconceptions of the past). I asked her if she thought we could stay friends aand she said "I dont know". When we said goodbuy she did however say "talk to you soon, Im sure". It may just be a polite phrase (if its one thing the english know about its being polite) but I decided that any contact between us should be on her initiative now. If I take up the contact again and shes not ready to speak to me (about whatever) I think the wounds will open up again and maybe wider that before. Now this doesnt mean I dont want to speak to her. I really do and at least talk and agree that we have to put the arguing behind us. Right now things arent good at all where I not only realize I have lost her as a lover and girl friend but also lost her friendship alltogether (thats how it seems at the moment). I tell you its really taking a big toll on me.