Bloging under the influence of alcohol

Yeah. so this may not be the mosthn throught through or best spelled post ever. I dont really give a fuckj. Yeah, Im drunk and I had a nice time with my firends for a few hours today. IT was nice to get my mind off of things. However some of that sadness is coming back as soon as Im left alone in my apartment. Soemtimes I think what started as a great thing for me (living alone) has turned to a curse. I know Im alone and that very fact makes me very sad.

I will never know what mnade things go wrong but I know they went terribly wrong compared to what I dreamed about and compared to what I wanted. What is the reason for all this. Im actually thinking of moving far away just to start a completely new life and that way start one part of the dream I have dreamed for quite a long time. Maybe a totally fresh start is just what I need. It wont happen for at least a year I think but maybe its the right thing to do. I have already looked into a few possibilitties. Well see what happens and how much of this I will regret writing when I wake up tomorrow .