Bertrand Russell quotes with comments.

I found more Russel quotes and I thought I'd include them here as well in a updated version of the original post. I will also add commentaries to them and how they apply to my life.

The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.

This is just plainly a good quote and it shows us what the essence in life should be. If you enjoy something it is not wasted or unneccessary. The true meaning of life should be this. Do what you enjoy and enjoy what you do. Happiness is the key.

We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams.

This struck me as very true because today I am so very torn between the two. In many ways I remember and glorify the past but my dreams are still rooted in the past. Everyone who has read this blog for some time know of my situation. I have been miserable losing the girl in my past. I had the dreams of creating a family with her and moving from Sweden to England to be closer to her. It all came crashing down and I have been in a very rough condition for a long time now. However all I can seem to dream about now is that I still want to move. I dont expect to get my ex girlfriend back. That would be stupid considering all things that has went own. However I still want to live in England and for some reason I feel ready to give up my apaprtment (which is very nice) and maybe take a even lower job on the scale of pay and reputation. My mind was so ready for everything that a move would include that when the original reason for the move "went away" my mind was still not attached to the life I live here and now. Its still way off in some foreign country creating a new life for itself over there. Thus my memory and my dream is so much interconnected and in a bad way that I dont feel rooten in where I am today.

You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future.

And of course this is the continuation of what I wrote before. I want to change the past more thn anything. I used to say that I didnt regret anything because it all made me what I am today. Well thats not how I feel anymore. Maybe I will feel like what Im going through now was necessary if I will be happy in the future but right now there are things in my past I would have liked undone. I wish I could go back 4 years in time or so and know all I know now and reverse a few descicions I made back then. Because I know I cant change the past Im worrying about the future. Im actually pretty scared that if I do something now and take a chance things will get even worse than the are now (mentally that is). Of course they could turn out to get better as well and the one who doesnt try will never know but the fear of things getting worse is unfortunately overwhelming.

Proof of an intellectual creator god!

Yes, the subject line if misleading. I came across a post on the Flashback forums claiming to have proof that science and religion talks about the same thing and tat science actually agrees with religion that there is a singular, intellectual creator god. As of right now I wont comment on it more than that I will say that the posters reasoning is highly stupid and simplified. If anyone is interested in the relation of science and religion I recomend Fritiof Capras "the tao of physics". He doesnt claim science justifies religion but that they try to describe the same thing. He never claims science accepts the thought of some kind of intelligence that created the universe but point to th similarities between mythics way to describe reality and what we with modern physics have arrived at in terms of knowledge.

Now this is the post from the Flashback forum. Once again this is a way to show the stupidity of some people that actually believes this stupidity. The post is in Swedish and I havent translated it yet. I might do so in the future. We'll see. Anyway here it is, originally posted by the the user srednabr at this location:

Bevis för existensen av en superintellektuell Skapare.

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Forskare är överens om att materia slutligen består består av en kombination av rena krafter (kvarkar) som har sitt ursprung i en Ursprunglig Kraft, en Singularitet. Omvänt hävdat; den Singulariteten är ansvarig för allting fysiskt i universum, all materia och alla lagar som styr materia. Inte heller kan någon intelligent person fly slutsatsen att universum manifesterar, vid varje vridning/vändning [engelska "at every turn"], intelligent design; av en intelligens som långt övergår vår egen. Således så möter vi oundvikligen en superintelligent Singularitet. De mest eminenta vetenskapsmän, inklusive fysiker, tillstår det.

Det är inte logiskt försvarbart att hävda ”det är omöjligt för någon att helt och hållet bevisa att det finns eller inte finns en Skapare.” Som bäst kan du endast hävda att du inte känner till ett sådant bevis. Det existerar faktiskt ett sådant bevis.

Här kommer följande bevis att det finns en Singularitet-Skapare, det väkl kända reductio ad absurdum-beviset (engelska: proof by disproof; bevis genom motbevis).

-Antagande: Det finns ingen Singularitet (Skapare).

-Således: Det finns ingen materia eller fysiskt universum som fogar sig efter de kända fysiska lagarna.

-Fakta: Det finns materia och ett fysiskt universum som fogar sig efter de kända fysiska lagarna. (Motsättningen bevisar antitesen till antagandet; t.ex. bevis genom motbevis).

-Således: Det finns en Singularitet (Skapare)!

(källa: www.netzarim.co.il)

mvh Anders Branderud
Efterföljare till Ribi Yehoshua – Messias – i ortodox judendom.

On being happy even though things dont go as planned.

The last few days has been a rollercoaster in more ways than one but something good happened. I decided on something and it turned out to be the right thing all along. I've been talking about meeting someone but after we discussed something I wasnt sure. Lets just say there were personality traits that she had that I had a problem with. She was open with it to me and Im thankful for that.

A day after we had our talk she was listed as "in a relationship" with someone else on facebook. Im so glad I detached myself from that. One of her traits was to live double lives and being impulsive and such. This proves that she had something going on at the same time as she was coming on to me. I never let myself get caught up to much in this mostly because of my history but then also because it would probably be a bad fit if we ever got together.

I know she reads the blog from time to time so I wanna say thank you because you did make me happier for a little while (even though I'll never know your real intentions) and Im happy that I made the right judgment about you. So even though Im looking for someone you clearly werent the one and Im glad I got out before you would hurt me. I gotta say I had my doubts about my descicion (as you know) but Im glad it happened. And the good thing is that I've gained a new friend. All is good :)

Now I'll deal with everything else again.

Good riddance!

Vacation

Yeah it's vacation time. I actually have nothing planned - not single thing. There has been some loose talk about a couple of things but right now it's all up to other people to decide what they wanna do. I'm free and I have said I'm up for it.

If nothing happens then I'm in for a pretty boring vacation. I only took 2 weeks in hope to find something more fun to do later on in the year. I've been thinking of going to some other country and catch a few concerts or something and I have loads of days to take to make that happen. A trip down to gothenburg has been talked about as well as a cruise so we'll see what happens.

Right now, Im writing here because Im bored though. I have some stuff to do but its all boring cleaning jobs so Im reluctant about doing it. It always feels good after Ive done it though so maybe I should start :/

Otherwise Ive been watching loads of movies the last few days. I'll give you some short reviews:

300 - This is the ultimate Manowar movie. Pumped up muscular men beating all odds. Lots of game blood (as in x-box or whatever - it disappears in this air) and lots of fighting. Overall I like the "cartoon style" but the movie itself wasnt very good.

American girl - about a white trash family with their father in prison and what happens on the annual picnick day. Not very good or convincing - at least not to me.

Definitely maybe - This one I liked. A man tells his daughter about his history with the girls he dated. Simplle comedy/romance/drama stuff. Probably what one would call a chick flick but I dig that kind of movie.

Hulk - the 2003 version I believe. Lots better than I remembered it as (I didnt even see it all the way through the first time around). Still nothing compared to the good superhero movies (Batman Begins, X-men etc) but alright.

13 - only saw the first 15 minutes or so. Crap to me.

Hitman - pretty much crap. I hate when movies even defy their own logic. Who walk around with swords on their backs anyway when they can just shoot the target with the guns they already hold in their hands? Ah well...


Oh and also I've just discovered how good the recent stuff Samael has released really are. Great industrial metal highly recomended to anyone that likes that style. I will buy a bunch of their albums for sure.

R.I.P George Carlin

George Carlin - Religion is bullshit:



George Carlin - Defrags the 10 Comandments:




There should be just one commandment - "Be excellent to eachother". Something I know Rufus, ehum, George did agree with me on.

How to be an online metal head!

I found this on the Ultimate Metal Forum. Not sure if non-metalheads find it funny but I do. Unfortunately it's true in alot of cases:

1. Every band you don't like sucks. You know the critically acclaimed band that revitalized the genre that you personally never got into? They suck. There's no room for debate; they just utterly blow ass. Make sure you're always ready and willing to point this out on various Internet forums/message boards/communities to fans of the band. In fact, you should take advantage of every opportunity and jump at any mention of the band, no matter how minuscule. Listen, it isn't enough to call an oft-praised band "overrated"; you must bring to light their extreme suckiness. No excuses.

2. Word play is a metalhead's best friend. Since you'll be frequently conversing in various online metal communities, it's important that you utilize the target band's name. A statement like "Band X sucks" is a good start, but if you want to improve your metalhead credibility, you're going to have to get more sophisticated than that. Never pass up the chance to twist and bend a band's name to include some negative word play. Some of the more effectual terms you can inject into a band name include, but are not limited to, "gay," "fag," "sucks," "shit," and my personal favorite, "turd." For examples, consider the following: "Trivicum" (Trivium), "Craptallica" (Metallica), "Blowpeth" (Opeth), "Lamb of Gay" (Lamb of God), "Iron Gayden" (Iron Maiden), "Mastodong" (Mastodon), "Panterrible" (Pantera), etc.

3. Make use of negative labels. Generalizing an entire group or thought process works in politics, so why not music? There's really no limit to what you can stick a label on. Bands, the members of a band, the band's fans – hell, even entire genres are up for a good ridicule by way of labeling. The best part about labels is that they don't even have to hold any significant meaning; they just need to sound unfavorable. "Mallcore," for example, doesn't need to carry a negative denotation, as long as it connotes a feeling of shitty music. Your use of "-core" doesn't end at "mall," so don't let an opportunity to use such gems as "fagcore," "shitcore," and "douchecore" slip by.

4. Adjust to tunnel vision. You may from time to time be tempted to listen to a band you once derided despite never having heard a single song of theirs. Resist the temptation! If you keep yourself in the dark and refuse to listen to any of the band's songs, you can still argue for their suckiness, and you won't be a hypocrite in the eyes of your fellow metalhead. This goes double for any of those fagcore genres; every single band that even so much as resembles that style of metal is shit. There's no two ways about it. If you can't resist the temptation, then make sure you never let anyone know you listen to the band in question, and fervently deny every accusation of hypocrisy.

5. The Internet is no place to be insightful. Make your point, and make it quickly. Rarely will you need more than a single sentence to describe how purely awesome a band is or how ridiculously awful another is. Don't get bogged down trying to think of something clever; leave the intelligent prose to the professional critics who, by the way, are always wrong. Keep your caps lock on, and don't be afraid to use an excessive amount of exclamation points.

6. Points are awarded for obscurity and deducted for popularity. So one of your favorite bands who you've listened to for years has just sold 100,000 copies of its most acclaimed album. This may go without saying, but it's time to drop those fucking sell outs like the greed-mongering posers they really are. Any CDs, posters, t-shirts, and magazines featuring said band must be burned immediately. Delete any trace of the band from your computer. Deny ever having listened to them. Once all this is complete, you can successfully rebound by finding the most obscure metal bands you can. Don't worry about quality – whether they're any good or show any potential isn't important; what's important is that you find that one band that no one has ever heard of. A good find will vary, but extra points go to the enthusiast who finds a band that only produced one song before breaking up indefinitely: a self-released demo only available on their now-defunct website.


That concludes my suggestions for being a metalhead online. Have fun, and remember, Internet anonymity is what keeps metal alive.

Opinions wanted.

I see that there have been a few hindus visiting the blog (well 2 according to the poll). Im interested to hear from you what you think of my interpretations of "your" godess. Im sure it differs and I am eclectic in that I use loads of different symbols from different traditions that to me ultimately tries to explain the same thing. Which actually makes me think that it would be fun if anyone would comment on the way I connect certain things like for example the post on hinduism, buddhism and satanism. In other places I have put taoism and old northern religion into the mix as well. I'd love to hear from people what they think about the stuff I write. Positive or negative doesnt really matter but I want it to be constructive not just random use of negative words or such.

Of course anyone is free to comment on stuff I put in the "personal" category as well (which seems to be the part that intrigues most of my readers).

Überman!!!

To concentrate.

Just a quick note on something I always notice but have a hard time making go away. I am very restless. I have probably up to 10 books I have started to read without finishing a single one. I started listening to audio books and I have started with two but only have the patience to listen if Im doing something else at the same time (like sitting on a train going somewhere). I never have any real patience when it comes to practice my bass playing either or even watch movies or other things on the tv.

It has become quite a problem since I have a hard time finishing things, anything really. The things is I have nothing better to do and often I find myself bored but Im to restless to actually do and finish something. Any advice on how to overcome this kind of behaviour is welcome.

On showing weakness.

For a long time now I have been a person who's been very cautios about not projecting the "wrong" image of myself to people. Its not that I have lied to make myself look better but I might have not told them about certain parts of my life. This is probably something that has grown in my head because of some of my morals and desires not to be like veryone else or not to be like the common image of whatever I have labeled myself. Let me explain.

I have in the past been cautios to reveal to much personal thing because I dont want people to use it against me. I think this stems from debates on the subject of religion where the opponent might use my weakness or inconsitencies against myself. I have been attracted to Satanism alot and its ethics are often elitist. Either one considers oneself the elite as a static thing, like alot of the Church of Satan people, ("we are our own gods") or as a dynamic thing like the Temple of Set that seeks to perfect the self through hard work. In this case Im leaning more towards ToS for sure. I think its supid to have a static view in this case but thats beside the point.

Thus I sometimes have held back the personal me from the debater. Granted it has often worked well but eventually the two also got seperated in real life which is where Im at today. Im trying to find my way back to where the two can be one, at least in my private life. This blog was first created as a diary output but I erased it after just a few posts. Then I decided to make it purely about religion and pilosophy. As time moved on the two became one and today I think its a nice mix of the two and that gives the reader a more complete picture of myself as well.

I have always valued life as it is, the acceptance of what I am here and now. That means both positives and negatives. I used to say that I dont regret anything because Im happy with who I am today. At this moment I cant say the same, Im not totally happy or satisfied with how certain things have turned out but I do have a good acceptance of myself as I am. I dont give a shit anymore if someone would try to win an argument against me because "my philosophy has made me feel like Im not happy with life". Its not like that anymore. Everyone has their problems, and Im sure most have gone through really tough times either mentally or physical or both. These are the times we are shaped the most.

I have had two really hard times in my life that I can remember and both has had an enormous impact on me. The last one is still in progress in the way that Im still trying to find my way back. But the thing is that I am on the way to do that and while Im not happy with everything right now (how one can ever be is beyond me) Im shaping my future and things are way better now than they were before.

So I dont care anymore if I fall into a cliché category. I am me and dammit its my right to be me and to enjoy it.

Thus spoke a long haired, metalheaded, pro-wresting and mma fan who's into the less conventional side of religion and philosophy.

Yin/Yang picture

I came across this picture that depicted the yin/yang symbol in a different kind of way. I have no permission to publish it but hope its alright. If not the artist may send me a note and ask me to remove it.

Just stuff...

Just thought I should write to say Im still alive! Well thats no shock but I havent felt very inspired the last few days or even weeks. The fire has been (temporarily?) lost. I have no ideas as to what to write about on the blog so I will give it a rest until I find inspiration again. Im sure its sooner rather than later.

Not much has happened in my day to day life either. Been working as usual and I was out this Sunday with friends. We played some pool and some poker before going to see the championship match between Spain and Germany. However we didnt get into the park where they have the big screen (it was full) so we had to sprint through half of stockholm city to catch the train and get home in time for the second half. Im no big football fan (yes I want to call i football not soccer) so I didnt mind that much. It was fun regardless.

Got a few weeks off work pretty soon as well but still no plans set in stone. I have some ideas but I dont know what (if anything) will happen.

I have also been more serious to finish the university courses that I havent finished and maybe read p on one more subject so I get a degree so I can get myself a better job. I might actually do this during my weeks off work. It would be nice to finish up all the stuff thats been pushed back for so long now. The D level essay in religion is practically finished but I need to start working on a good subject for a B level essay in philosophy as well.

Ah well, thats all for now. Just random thoughts, nothing big, just like my life right now :/